The key to sexual wellness is maintaining good health.
Sex is God's invention. He is the mastermind behind it—and His creation is worth far more to Him than it is to us. This beautiful expression of love was created out of His own heart, as a gift to be experienced between a husband and wife. It is only in marriage that this manifestation of intimacy can be fully enjoyed in the depth for which it was created.
Always keep me in your heart, she says. The passion of love bursting into flame is more powerful than death, stronger than the grave. Love cannot be drowned by oceans or floods; it cannot be bought, no matter what is offered. (Song of Songs or Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (CEV))
"A relationship survives because of keeping the friendship alive and learning how to fall in love over and over again and never taking the other person for granted and seeing things in a new light with new eyes," --Patrick Swazye
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)
Two Hearts That Beat As One
BE CLEAR Before the Bubbly Flows
Questions To Ask Before You "Tie the Knot" The kind of love that is needed for any marriage to be successful is the God kind of love because this love is not a selfish love. God's kind of love, loves even when that love is not reciprocated. One attribute of love is faithfulness and loyalty. A Christian marriage is based on trust in God and each other. How old (mature) are we? Many marriage counselors and attorneys agree that it is really unwise to marry before the age of 25.Although there have been successful young marriages, it is better to wait until you know yourself, what you want out of life, and where you are headed. What do we have in common? Remember that old adage that “opposites attract”--well they may attract; but they don’t stick.While it is fine and healthy to have different interests, at the end of the day, spouses need to be more alike than different to make it to their silver wedding anniversary. How do we both feel about sex? Talk candidly about what each of you expect from the sexual aspect of your pending marriage.Many divorced couples confess to living in a sexless or nearly sexless marriage--not days, weeks, months, but years.There was one case where a couple had been married 20 years and had never consummated their marriage. Am I absolutely sure he/she is the one? If you cannot see yourself growing old with your intended and being with them for life, than maybe it's time to further evaluate the relationship.Sometimes after couples are married, every other man or woman seems better than the one they are with.Many marriages end because one partner or the other thinks the grass is greener--better with someone else--.Studies have shown that the grass is not greener. Discuss the role of both set of in-laws. Parents who will not leave their kids alone are one of the biggest causes of divorce. Infidelity--Are you trustworthy?Can you be faithful? It is truly so easy to be faithful when you know that you are with your soulmate and the love is pure.While many couples blame their divorce on infidelity, it is rarely the “cause.”It is rare to see marriages that are otherwise healthy and happy marriages but for the infidelity. Discuss in detail how to deal with second marriages and any children that may be involved. Most second marriages fail for two reasons: 1.choosing a second spouse that is very similar to the first2.the pressure of raising step children and dealing with exes. Am I getting married to fix a wrong (for the wrong reasons)? Many people think that marriage will change what is wrong with a potential spouse.This unrealistic expectation generally leads to divorce.The priest, judge or whoever marries you does not have the power to change temperaments, attitudes, or beliefs of brides and grooms.And definitely, do not marry because you are looking for someone to “make” you happy or meet all of your needs. Look for signs of drug or alcohol abuse or addiction. If an addiction is left untreated, it can ultimately destroy a marriage whether it is prescription drugs, illegal drugs, or alcohol. Are you delusional--having the Cinderella syndrome?. In a whirlwind romance it can be easy to paint an unrealistic rosy picture of a relationship.Marriage involves work and commitment.It is not a fairy tale. Where are each of us now? Discuss this in detail to avoid “growing apart”.There are eight examples of how couples grow apart: acting like a kid (kidaholic); the workaholic; the hobbyaholic; large age gaps at the time of marriage; marriages between opposites; changes in goals and values; intellectual and social differences; and marriage between straight and gay. Can we discuss anything? Communication--many couples divorce because they never form that communication bridge and lose patience with each other.They do not spend time intellectually to come up with joint solutions for their problems. It is best to sit down and honestly discuss what is bothering you.Do not assume the other person knows or should know what your issues are. Concerns such as where will we live, who will manage the finances, the type of wedding we want, and where will we honeymoon should all be discussed before the "big" day. Do I have any doubts at this moment? Many people have stated that they had doubts about marrying before doing it; but felt it would be easier to divorce than phone guests and tell them the wedding was off--better yet, call it off--turn into a party.If he’s slapping you around now, he may beat you down after the marriage.If you are cheating now, you will cheat after the marriage.If things get on your nerves now, they will only intensify after the marriage.Get the picture?
You may think that having to consider all these factors seems to take away from the romance and spontineity of being in love; quite the contrary, it is the love that wants complete understanding.
Our jury is still out on prenuptial agreements. They convey a presumption that the marriage will definitely end. However, we realize that when great wealth is a factor that assets may need some form of legal protection. Each situation can be different, so act responsibly.
May God Bless Your Union
10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE
Thou Shalt Not...
put down or critically abuse your spouse
negatively compare spouse to another person
make an important decision without consulting spouse
use sex as a bargaining tool or as punishment
physically or verbally abuse your spouse
lie to your spouse
put friends, hobbies, and work before your relationship
ask your spouse to break the law
put your spouse in harm's way
be unfaithful to your spouse
(Source" 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married" by Monica Mendez Leahy)
MARRIAGES THAT COULD BE ESPECIALLY CHALLENGING...
marrying someone in the military
marrying someone who is a criminal and/or in jail
marrying a non citizen
marrying a celebrity
marrying someone much older or younger
marrying someone of a different faith
marrying someone with physical or emotional challenges
marrying someone that you have only known briefly
...we are not implying that these marriages can not work; in fact, we would like to think that love conquers all. However, be sure to read the book "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married" by Monica Mendez Leahy and run through the questions one should ask when considering a marriage that has inherent challenges. A greater chance of success is more likely when you are aware of challenges that you may not have thought of.
Ladies, 10 Reasons He Won't (or is reluctant) To Say I Do...
He doesn't mesh with your family
Your finances are a mess
He feels you cannot be trusted
He doesn't want to change his care-free life style
You already have kids
He wants to live in a different area
You have more money than he does or a better social standing
He doesn't feel he has enough money
He's afraid you are not the one because of rockiness in the relationship
His parents had a rocky marriage or divorced
18k Pure White Gold 2(ctw) Emerald Cut Stones
The Diamond
Ladies, before your man even think about shopping for a ring for you; you need to make sure that he knows the 4C's of diamonds. And by all means point out rings you like periodically in the relationship. Who wants a wedding ring that they do not like (and I'm not talking expensive here--just beautiful); and it would be insulting to exchange such a precious offering. So, make sure he is perfectly clear on what you like in gentle, discreet ways. He'll be grateful for it.
Clarity, Color, Carat and Cut
1. Clarity Clarity connotes the quality of diamonds based upon the existence and visual appearance of internal characteristics of a diamond called inclusions, and surface defects called blemishes. Most diamonds have inclusions but that doesn't effect the diamonds' ability to transmit and scatter light but large clouds will as they effect the diamond's performance or structural integrity 2. Color A perfect diamond is completely transparent with no hue or color. However, in reality almost no diamond is absolutely perfect. The color of a diamond may be affected by chemical impurities and/or structural defects. Depending on the hue and intensity of a diamond's coloration, a diamond's color can either detract from or enhance its value. For example, most white diamonds are cheaper when more yellow hue is detectable, while pink or blue diamonds can be way more expensive. 3. Cut To many, this is the most important C because even if the diamonds clarity and color isnt top of the line, the quality of the cut can increase the value. A diamond cut involves more or less symmetrical arrangement of angles which together modify the shape and appearance of a diamond. If cut right, these angles will make the rock reflect beautiful rainbow colors every time a light hits it. Diamond cutters analyze shape and size of the crystal, when choosing a cut. Using their skill and natural innovation, they create magic. From marking and cleaving to sawing, bruting and faceting, they turn plain hard rocks into brilliant accessories that illuminate your wardrobe and your life, helping millions of young men tell the world how much they love their girl. 4. Carat Last but not least, you must consider the weight of the diamond. Don't confuse carat with karet as the k-word refers to the fineness of gold while carat refers to a diamond's weight, not its size or diameter.
To the Guys: Do your research and make sure you think really hard before you make a purchase. Eventually your woman may take that ring and check the value so don't go cheap. At the same time, don't get yourself into debt. When you go to the jewelry store, make sure you use the Jeweler's Loupe (magnifying glass) to examine the stones. No matter what, if she really loves you, what you give her won't matter, but your job is to make it matter!
Links & Supplements
Martha Stewart Wedding Cakes
Saving My Marriage
Sayings Contributed to Mae West...
“A man in the house is worth two in the street. A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction. Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else. Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for. Give a man a free hand and he'll try to put it all over you. He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself. I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men. Men are all alike - except the one you've met who's different. Sex is an emotion in motion. You're never too old to become younger.”
Here's To Your Health--Live Long And Prosper! Embellir Corporation 2577 Broad Avenue (Historic Arts District) Memphis TN 38112-2615 901.452.1950 (p) 901.452.1949 (f)
