A cheerful heart is a good medicine; but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)
Laughter is healing to the body.It lowers adrenalin, the stress hormone, by 70-80%.It lowers cortisol, a cell killer, by 40%.It raises endorphins, the feel good hormone.It raises growth hormones by 80%.It raises interferon.It helps to eliminate depression, bitterness, and hatred.
Laughter is the best medicine. It can boost the immune system. Laughter helps us to tolerate pain. We are designed to laugh. Laughter is an entire body experience. 100 laughs a day provide the same exercise as an aerobic workout. He who laughs, last! Laughter is contagious; people rarely laugh alone. Laughter in a family can increase its togetherness. Some days can be so bad, you just have to laugh.
Have A Laugh On Us
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
A little boy who was tired of going to Sunday school each Sunday asked his father, "Did you go to Sunday school every week when you were little?" "I sure did, son," his father replied. "I'll bet it won't do me any good, either," the boy said.
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
A preacher once preached about the dangers of drinking beer and he showed the congregation a clear glass with a piece of liver inside and poured beer inside and let them watch what would happen to your liver if you drank. There was a little drunk in the very last bench that stood up and said, "Oh my, I'll never eat liver again.”
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." --Henny Youngman
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." ---Clement Freud
If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise!"---A Congressman's response about his attitude toward whiskey.
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
“Do you believe in life after death?”, the boss asked one of his employees.“Yes, sir,” replied the employee gleefully.“Well, then, that make everything just fine,” the boss went on; after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you!”.
Why did the chicken cross the road? PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me...
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
GENERAL COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.#@&&^]C% ... (reboot)
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Here's To Your Health--Live Long And Prosper! Embellir Corporation 2577 Broad Avenue (Historic Arts District) Memphis TN 38112-2615 901.452.1950
"You won't stop being sick until you stop doing the things that are making your sick!" Copyright 2001 - 2011 All Rights Reserved
